Update – My First Placements

My First Foster Placements - Becoming a Foster Parent - Canada

I had started this blog to just record the process of becoming a foster parent and had no plans to continue once I took on placements, but I wanted to give an update about my first placement since that ‘officially’ made me a foster parent in my mind.

After I met my worker on November 3, I was put “on the board” to officially accept placements. Then, I waited. And waited. And waited. On January 30th (almost 3 full months of waiting for a call), I received an email from my worker saying she had a potential placement for me, and to call her the next day when she’d be in the office.

When I called her the next day she went over what she knew. The kids were still with their mother, had been in care before, but they had a court date on that Thursday to determine if the kids would be coming back into care. The kids. Two. Not one.. .two kids.

So, did I whip out my placement call list of questions and start rattling them off? Nope. I completely forgot about it to be honest! I listened. She gave me the info she had, which really wasn’t much and then asked my thoughts. The kids both fell in my age range. There was one boy and one girl, so I had the beds available. I said yes.

Then, I had to wait again. This time, for the judge to decide if the kids would be placed in foster care. Thursday afternoon came and I hadn’t heard anything so I sent my worker a quick email (we email a lot, since I work full time outside the home, it is the easiest way for us to send quick messages). She hadn’t heard anything either so she said she would see what she could find out.

The case had been put off until the next week. I had to wait a whole week again to find out if I would be caring for these children. It was a long, hard week. I didn’t know what to expect, would it be put off again? Am I sure I want to accept two children as my first placement? Am I sure I want to accept any children at all still? I starting having doubts, I starting rethinking everything.

Then Thursday came.

The kids were ordered into care and I received the call. The kids would be at my house at 6pm.  On February 16, I welcomed a sibling set of two into my home. Right now it is estimated at a 6-8 month stay, but you just never know. Their Mom has been great though and I am 100% confident there will be reunification. We talk on the phone every night before the kids go to bed.

Some days are hard. Like, really hard. But others are wonderful. I feel like I was definitely meant to have more than two children and this is part of my path…however, my children are sure they do not want anymore foster children to come into our home. Adjustment is hard.

~Meesh

 

We are Approved!

foster-parent-approval_foster-care-blog_momma-meesh

Today I received my approval to become a foster parent! 

I am still in a state of shock… even though it has been over a year since I started the process, it is still an “is this really happening” moment! I can’t wait to share the news with my children!

So now, let me back up a couple days. Earlier this week my Home Study worker emailed me a couple questions. The questions she sent me were previously asked in my Home Study, but she wanted to add to the response she had written down.

Then today, she emailed me to say her Supervisor had one question about how I would introduce a new partner into the mix if I date or am in a relationship when I have foster children. I had thought about this before since I have to worry about that with my own children. Although I feel I am years away from that happening, I answered the best I could.

About an hour later she emailed me back congratulating me on being approved and sent me a copy of my report to review.  Once I reviewed it (I had no changes), I sent it back. Her administrative assistant will now format it and then send it off to be assigned a Resource Worker.

Yay!  I am approved! I am getting so close!

Next step:  Wait for the Resource Worker assigned to me to contact me (estimated to be next week or early the following week). Once they contact me, we set up a time to meet within 30 days. From there, I am open to placements!

I am hoping to have our first placement(s) by Christmas!

Thank you for following in my journey! I have now completed the process to become a Foster Parent!

Waiting on Approval… Continued

Waiting on Approval - Foster Adoption Process - Momma Meesh Blog

My two week wait turned into a two month wait… and is now looking closer to a two year wait by the time I will get my first placement.

I talked to my Home Study worker today as I wanted more information about future adoption (I plan to Foster first, but my five year plan includes being open to adoption). She informed me she has not started my write up yet about my Home Study for her Supervisor to approve. She is going on vacation for two weeks and said she will not be starting my write up until mid to late September. Due to vacations in her department, and kinship and child specific Home Studies she has had to complete, she had to push back my write up.

My heart broke.

Mid to late September?? That is four months after my final Home Study appointment!

I am blessed to have two bio children who I can focus on while I wait, so I will focus on that. My heart breaks for the others who are also waiting along me for such a long time who are waiting for their first child to come home!

New timeline:

  • Mid to Late September – Home Study Worker prepares Home Study Report
    • She will send the report to me to review and comment/mark up
    • Once I approve her write up (to be sure everything is correct) she sends it to her Supervisor to review
    • Depending on her Supervisor’s workload it could take days to weeks to receive final approval (although my worker has stated it is usually pretty quick…)
  • Mid to Late October – Final Approval Received (hopefully)
  • Within 7 Days of Approval a Social Worker will be assigned to me (end of October?)
  • Within 30 days, my Social Worker must set up a meeting with me (could bring me to late November?)
  • December?… open to placement calls.

Based on the new information I think it is more likely that I will be waiting until January for my first placement calls, but am praying things run smoother come Fall when there are less people on vacation.


 

Waiting on Approval (Still)

Waiting on Approvals - Foster Care - Becoming a Foster Parent - MommaMeesh Blog

I am still in the waiting process. It has been almost two months, which was the estimated time line for my approval, however I have not even received my Home Study report to review yet.

I touched base quick with my Home Study worker last week and she hadn’t got to my report yet due to a backlog of people ahead of me. She is swamped with Home Studies, which is great, but also frustrating.

I am hoping within the next week or so I will receive my report to review. It then goes back and gets approval from her supervisor.

The next waiting game will be when I am assigned a Worker. After my official approval they have 7 days to assign a worker to me. From there, she has 30 days to come meet me. I am really hoping that is a large time frame and it is actually much sooner… but the way things are going, I am expecting it to be the full estimated time.

My hope is still to receive a placement in August, however, each day I don’t receive my report, I am losing hope for that.

I will update as soon as I get approval 🙂

 

Final Home Study Complete!

Home Study Phase Complete - Safety Check and Interviews to become a foster parent - MommaMeesh WordPress Blog

I am now complete the application process to become a foster parent! I have completed all of the paperwork, background check, medical check, home safety checks and personal interviews! Now, I wait… up to two months to be officially approved.

Final Home Study Appointment

My final home study appointment was the easiest one, by far! It was not what I expected. My home study worker had mentioned the last appointment would be a personal interview about my parenting and then the final walk through of the house.

The personal interview about my parenting was a lot easier and more vague than I thought it would be. I had thought about different questions she might ask, about scenarios that may come up and how I would handle them, but we didn’t touch on any of that. It was more about what I enjoyed about parenting, what I found the most stressful about parenting, what we do for fun and also touched on how it will work with the kids going to their Dad’s every other weekend while the foster child stays with me (will they be okay with that, what if they want to stay and not go with their Dad, etc.). We also talked more about potential placements and what my feelings were on certain placements and their past. For example, we talked more about FASD and how I am willing to accept children with FASD but would like to sign up for additional training as I don’t have any experience with it. Also, with sexually abused children, we talked about what the “line” was for me since I have two bio children and they will share a bedroom with them. We also talked more about training and gaining “credits.” Whenever I talk courses that relate to parenting I can submit proof of the course taken to my worker to put in my file. I can receive credits for the courses. More credits means I am more specialized and therefore will receive a higher per diem rate.

The final walk through of the house was exactly as expected, we just went over the outstanding items from the first walk through; my TV had to be mounted on the wall, a lock added to the basement door, etc.

The final appointment lasted only about an hour. Half an hour for the personal interview and general discussion, then about half an hour (maybe a bit less) for the final walk through.

Next Step

Waiting… again. Due to the workload right now and the number of home studies on the go, my worker confirmed it would be around two months to receive my final approval.

Once I am officially approved a worker will be assigned to me within 7 days of the approval. Then, the worker has to meet with me within 30 days of being assigned to go over everything. From there, I can receive calls about placements from my worker.

  • Official Approval: estimated at 2 months (brings me to the end of June)
  • Worker Assigned, Meeting set up with new worker: Within 1 month of being assigned… Could be Late July or the first week of August before I meet my worker.

Based on the information given, it looks like I won’t be receiving calls for potential placements until August.

signature

Placement Calls – Questions to Ask

Foster Care Placement Call Question List - Becoming a Foster Parent blog

I am currently brainstorming questions for when I receive my first placement calls. I would love input from people who have gone through the blur and excitement of the first calls.

My Home Study worker suggested I create a list of questions to keep with me for when I receive a call. I am drafting it right now and plan to have her review it at my final home study appointment coming up next week.

Have a look at the PDF (Foster Care Placement Call Questions (PDF)) and let me know your thoughts. Is there information missing or are there too many questions for the first call?

I should add these questions are for school aged children, age range of 4 to 7. I don’t have baby-related or teen-related questions.

Edited to add:  A Commenter gave some great question ideas which can also be found here: No Bohns About It

I am sure there are lots of lists similar to this one out there. If you would like me to add your list, please let me know and I will add it to this post 🙂 

 


 

signature

Home Study #2 – Personal Interview

Home Study 2 - Personal Interview (Becoming a Foster Parent Process) Mommameesh-wordpress-com

A few days ago I had my second Home Study appointment with my Home Study Worker. She came to my house for an interview with me. We did not go through my house like in the first visit, this was just to go over a list of questions. Some Home Study workers complete this at their office; however, my Worker prefers to come to the home for all of the appointments.

The time booked for this appointment is 2 hours, but we were done in just over an hour.

Discussion about Possible Placements

We went over the checklists and forms relating to the types of children I am willing to accept into my home. I talked with her about the age range to get her opinion on the range and she agreed I should stay with the 4-7 age range to keep my son older than the placements. She said some people do not stick to that, but she recommends it. I am also open to taking a sibling group, but it has to be one girl, one boy due to bedroom arrangements and they have to both fall in the 4-7 age range, so that could be tricky.

We also went over the types of behaviours I could/could not accept and why. Most of my “could not” accepts were based on known behaviours that could affect my own children. She was happy to see I had some “could not” accepts as she said some people say they will accept anything, but that usually isn’t truly the case. She let me know being open at this stage is good, but also being honest and sharing things you are hesitant about is what the workers like to hear.

Some of the items on the checklist included special/higher needs and whether I would be willing to accept. My response was not a yes, no or maybe, but more of an explanation. I am willing to take a wide variety of children, but I require:

  • information on the needs and history (as much as they know at the time)
  • further knowledge/education/training available for me, if needed
  • expected amount of appointments that could affect my work since I work full time outside of the home

For most of the items on the list I told her it would really depend on the case. I can’t say a Yes or No for a lot, because each case will be so different. If it is a medical need such as diabetes, I am open to that. If it is a child with FASD, I am also open to that as well, but require more training as I have no experience with it and need more information specific to the child (behaviours, etc.).

She let me know about some training that is available once I am approved, which is great! I intend to take a few courses through CAS about different behaviours and ways to work with children with different needs. Also, she let me know that any courses I have taken in the past three years that relate to parenting I can submit to my worker to put in my file. If I take courses approved (relevant to parenting) it will give me “credits.” Having more training will result in being a more specialized foster parent (higher number of credits), which also entitles me to a higher daily rate. So far I have taken two online courses through the Foster Parent Society of Ontario (Life Books and Safeguarding Your Family) and also attended Mindfulness seminars.

From that she asked if I would be willing to learn special skills such as ASL (sign language). This is something that is very interesting to me, I would love to learn a new language such as ASL, so I am going to look into it. My only concern is the time commitment to learn special skills such as ASL and the fact I am not in a city (so to attend classes, it takes more time to account for travel into the city and takes away time from the kids/requires babysitting arrangements).

Personal Interview

The main questions she asked in this appointment were about my relationships with my family and my ex-husband and about my past. I have a pretty boring, “normal” history and a close relationship with my parents so it went pretty quickly. I also had to list all of my jobs I’ve had since college. I basically just read her my LinkedIn profile since she needed the company name and time frame for each position I have held. She also asked if I had ever been fired from a job (I haven’t, and it seems kind of odd to ask, but I guess going into why a person may have been fired from a job could tell them more about a person).

Some of the personal questions she asked me were:

  • What is your relationship like with your parents now? How often do you see them?
  • What is your relationship like with your siblings now? How often do you see them?
  • What was your relationship with your parents growing up?
  • How did your parents discipline you as a child?
  • Did you suffer any abuse (physical, emotional)?
  • How is your relationship with your ex-husband now?
  • Why did you split from your husband?
  • How often do your children see their father?
  • Will their father be involved with the foster children at all?
  • Do you foresee any problems with the children not wanting to go see their father if the foster child stays with you while they go there?

That isn’t the complete list, but some other questions spawned off of the above questions. Those are the main ones I remember.

What Comes Next?

My next appointment is in about a week and a half. In that appointment we will be going over the items outstanding from the first Home Study SAFE Assessment (such as checking to be sure I mounted my TV on the wall, and that my water heater is turned down) and then doing an interview about my parenting style.

My worker explained it takes up to two months for some approvals because the Workers take notes during the appointments, usually by hand, then they have to rewrite them in electronic form for their supervisor and the applicants to review. The time it takes to enter all of her notes into the electronic document takes the most time. Now though, she is trying out using her laptop during the interviews to speed up the process. It makes complete sense to me, so I was on board. It was her first time trying out her new method and she was a bit worried it would make it more impersonal or distracting but I think it worked fine. Hopefully that means a faster approval once my last appointment is finished.

Next steps:

  • April 21, 2016 – Final Home Study Appointment
  • Home Study Worker writes up all information from all three visits
  • Copy of Home Study report is sent to me to review before being finalized
  • Once the report is finalized, her supervisor will do a final review
  • Final approval is received from her supervisor

Best case scenario: May approval
More realistic scenario: June approval since they are so busy with Home Studies right now


signature